Everything I need to know...

Posted by Myrrhina on November 23, 2009

I learned in Video Games.

•You only live three times
•If at first you don't succeed, level up for a while and then try again
•When faced with a formidable adversary, always look for a glowing weak spot first
•It's OK to search random people's houses and take their stuff
•You may have fallen from space, but you'll die if you touch water.
•Even the most mundane task becomes exciting if you are given a score at the end of it
•Don't ever expect anyone else to jump in and save the world for you
•A quick snack or a good night's sleep can heal all wounds
•You will always be outnumbered... but it will never matter, because you're just that awesome
•Save often
•Take time now and again to stop and complete a side quest
• No matter who you are or what you're trying to do, at some point, you will need to push a large stone or box around to accomplish it
• If it ain't broke, see if you can break it -- it might have money inside
•Most of the laws of physics are just suggestions
•Anything that could conceivably explode most likely will
•Most people repeat themselves a lot
•If life gives you lemons, start collecting them, maybe somewhere you can trade them in for something useful
•You can still be a hero even if you never say a word
•It's OK to wear the same thing every day, unless, of course, you've just gained radically new powers or become evil
•Cutting down grass, and destroying pottery makes you rich & healthy.
•If all else fails, use fire
•Contrary to popular belief, you don’t gain experience and knowledge by education and hard work. You get it from wandering around the countryside killing wildlife.
•Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.
•Never trust a giant monkey wearing a tie.
•You know when you have won a fight when your opponent stands still, waiting for you to decapitate him.
•Food can heal most serious injuries instantly.
•Music spontaneously plays whenever you do anything exciting.
•You can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.
•Conversation is easy! Just think of two or three possible responses, and pick the one you think will lead to the greatest reward.
•If it moves, shoot it.
•Women who are experienced mercenaries and can carry multiple heavy weapons do not look like Bulgarian discus throwers, but are lithe, slim, and have very large breasts.
•Never book a holiday to Silent Hill or Raccoon City.
•Always take the headshot.
•Always chase stars no matter where they lead you.
•Frogs die in water.

last but not least...

•The Princess is always in another castle.